


Hold me and make me understand (they're only small fears)

by Rain_GellerBing



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Pre-Relationship, Trains, commuting, creepy guy on train, how is commuting not a tag? do people in fanfiction not take trains?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-27 04:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21112814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rain_GellerBing/pseuds/Rain_GellerBing
Summary: Ava has been commuting to university for years now, and she has a group of friends to share the trips with. Yet, while she really likes Mona and Nora, Sara unnerves her. Ava's not sure why; maybe it's Sara's personality, maybe her need to always have Ava's attention... Anyway, Ava's sure she doesn't like Sara, not even one bit.





	Hold me and make me understand (they're only small fears)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone :) this is a fic inspired by real events that happened to me in the two years I commuted to university. I only have to say that I would have loved to have Sara Lance with me on the train, when I had to catch it basically every day.
> 
> I want to thank my dear beta [Call](https://areyouscarletcold.tumblr.com/) for all the much needed help.
> 
> The tile is from an early 2000s Italian song that I personally hate, but it kinda fits?

It was an early summer day, with a clear blue sky and robins happily flying across the air, chirping and welcoming the warmer weather, so of course Ava was pissed she had to spend her morning on a stinky and hot train to commute to uni.

Finals were upon her, and she was going to the library to study because she had tried studying at home during her first year and it hadn't exactly translated into the grades she wanted. So she went to the library every day, even if she had to spend way too much time on a train to get there.

Usually, her friends would be with her on the trip. She had met Mona on the train, or at least they had started to talk on the train. She had seen her in her Postcolonial Lit lectures, but they hadn't talked until the day Ava sat next to the other girl on the train. They had tentatively started to complain about commuting and about one of their lecturers, Savage, who they called “the creepy dude who looks like he wants to conquer the world”.

Mona made Ava meet one of her friends, Nora, who lived in the tiny town right next to Ava's and who caught the train with her every day. Nora was less bubbly than her friend, something that suited Ava well, because Mona's shiny personality could be a little too much to bear first thing in the morning. Nora was less of a morning person than even Ava was, so they usually muttered sleepily when they waited for the train, and then they fell asleep as soon as they sat down close to each other.

To their trio was soon added Sara, a cute girl who was minoring in Literature (while Mona and Ava were majoring in it and Nora was majoring in Classics studies) and majoring in World History and who was a friend of Nora's will-they-won't-they kind-of-boyfriend.

Sara was the one who lived closest to the campus and hence was the one who spent less time on the train, which was a blessing for Ava. That girl unnerved her, with her cheeky grins, her innuendos, her complete disregard of personal space, and her infuriating personality. Whenever they spent time together, Ava always ended up getting angry at Sara. Well, maybe angry wasn't the exact term, but it was something close to it anyway.

After spending all of their time bickering, they had become sort of, kind of, friends. Ava liked their continuous banter more than she liked to admit, even if sometimes Sara was still as annoying as the first time they met. Like that time when, while the train hadn't yet left the station, Sara had taken the book Ava was reading from her hands and she fake-threw it out of the window. Ava's heart had stopped and Sara had spent the entire trip back home apologizing, while Mona and Nora alternated between hiding their giggles and telling Sara how she shouldn't have joked about throwing books, no matter how much she wanted Ava's attention.

“It's not my fault she prefers to read a book than talk to me!” Sara had said, but she genuinely looked miserable because she had made Ava so uncomfortable. It had taken a while, but in the end Ava had forgiven Sara, and she had started reading her books only after the other girl had got off the train.

To go back to the sunny day this story is set in, Ava was slouched on her seat reading  _ Her Royal Highness, _ alone but not lonely. Mona had already finished her finals and she was probably still hungover from her drinking-after-exam party (who could blame her. After having three exams in the first three days of the first week she deserved to get plastered), and Nora was studying with her boo-who's-not-really-a-boo (she had tried to invite the girls along, but they had all refused because no one could bear to be in the same room as the two of them for more than one hour without alcohol, or they would start to think about how dumb two people could be, because the two idiots had  _ clearly _ found their very much not platonic soulmate but hadn't even kissed yet).

Ava was mildly surprised when that morning Sara had texted her to know which train she was taking to go to the library, because Sara usually showed up only in the afternoon. Sara's brain didn't work before 2 pm, and her getting on the train before 10 am when there weren't classes was a rare occurrence.

When the train stopped at Sara's station, Ava sighed and put the bookmark at the page she was reading, closing the book.  _ Her Royal Highness  _ was way too cute, but she didn't want to unnerve Sara by reading and not giving her the attention she claimed to be her right.

Sometimes, Sara reminded Ava of an overgrown golden retriever who needed to be loved by everyone in the room.

“Hey,” Sara greeted, falling on the seat next to Ava's with the same grace a bag of potatoes would have had. The girl was wearing dark sunglasses that hid most of her face.

“Is it a problem if I want to read?” Ava asked after a brief greeting.

“No, I just want to sleep. Do whatever you want.” Sara had to fight a yawn (she wasn't successful) and then she closed her eyes.

Before the train left the station, a guy in his thirties, with big glasses and a shaved buzz sat right in front of Ava, apologizing to Sara because he had almost fallen on her while trying to reach his seat. The girl was evidently very tired because, to Ava's surprise, she didn't threaten the man with a bloody death, something she would have done had the circumstances been different.

Ava didn't mind too much her trip companions, going soon back into the world inside her head that had been created by the book she was reading.

They still had a few stops left when the guy cleared his throat, making Ava raise her head to look at him. He smiled tentatively, a faint blush on his cheeks.

“Sorry to bother you, but may I ask what are you reading? I didn't want to disturb you, but by the faces you're making while reading it looks engaging,” he said shyly, barely looking Ava in the eyes.

“Don't worry.” Ava smiled, despite hating being interrupted while reading, because her parents had taught her how to be polite. “It's called  _ Her Royal Highness _ , and it's fairly different from what I usually read, but it is interesting, and very sweet too.”

Ava was about to add that she didn't think the guy was the target audience for the book, or at least he didn't look like he would enjoy it much, but she was interrupted by him with a question.

“Oh! And what is it that you usually read?”

Ava didn't like to converse with strangers, especially on the train, but she replied because, again, it was the polite thing to do. “Usually classics, my favorite authors would be Wilde and Woolf, while Charlotte Perkins Gilman is probably my favorite American author.”

The guy lit up. “I really like Oscar Wilde too! I think I like his short stories more than Dorian  _ Gray  _ and the plays, and probably my favorite is  _ Lord Arthur Savile's Crime _ .”

Ava nodded. “Mine would be  _ The Nightingale and the Rose _ .”

She hoped that the way she was holding her book, added with the fact that her glance kept going from the stranger to the pages, may make the guy understand that she'd rather return to her reading than keep conversing, but the man didn't appear to be able to read people as well as he (possibly) read books.

“Oh, that's too depressing for my taste. I see the beauty in it, but it's just too sad,” the guy commented, and then he went on rambling about the qualities of his favorite short story. Ava wasn't really listening, because all her concentration was on making the man aware of the fact that she wanted to go back to  _ Her Royal Highness. _

“I'm sorry to bother you, I guess you want to go back to read,” he after a while, and Ava smiled gratefully.

“Yeah, the only moment I can read, between uni and work, is on the train, and I love reading, so...”

Yet, before she could go back to Millie and Flora, the guy spoke again.

“It's refreshing to see such a beautiful girl so passionate for reading.”

The blood in Ava's veins froze. The sentence, as innocuous as it sounded, made her flight or fight instinct come out, as it wouldn't be the first time a guy hit on her on the train. It had made her deeply uneasy, because, with Sara clearly asleep next to her, she felt alone and vulnerable.

She smiled, hoping the guy understood it was just out of politeness. “I don't know about that, I know a lot of girls like me who read a lot. Now, if you'll just excuse me –”

The guy cut her off again. “No really, you're very pretty, and clearly also very smart.” He was smiling, still kind of shy despite his words, but his whole demeanor just made Ava tense more.

“Are you getting off at the last stop? Because I am, and I was wondering if –”

“Hey babe, is this man bothering you?” Sara asked, suddenly raising from her slumber. Slowly, to make sure that Ava saw her movement, she put a hand on Ava's leg, grounding her with the weight and the warmth that was let on even through the jeans. 

Ava turned to look at her friend, but Sara's eyes were still hidden by the sunglasses, making her expression unreadable. She was smiling dangerously at the guy, but Ava had no idea what was going on through her mind.

“So? Are you bothering my girlfriend?” Sara asked again, as Ava hadn't answered, too stunned by what was going on and by Sara’s words.

“I– No I was just –” the guy stammered some more, and Sara raised an eyebrow.

“Could have fooled me.” Then she turned towards Ava. “Wanna change compartment, babe? I know it won’t take much to reach our destination, but –”

Ava could see it, then. Sara was pissed off. While the hand on Ava's tight was comforting and soft, her right hand was closed painfully in a fist, her fury barely concealed in her voice. Knowing Sara as she knew her, it would be better to get her away from the dude before she broke his nose, even if maybe he deserved it.

“Ok hon. Let's go.”

_ Hon? _ Ava thought while getting up.  _ Oh my god, why did I call her hon? _

She wanted to hide, too embarrassed. She knew that, if Sara hadn't been so infuriating, she would have had the biggest crush on her. But she didn't have a crush on Sara. She couldn't. Could she? Sara was incredibly pretty, witty, and very funny. Annoying, sure, but she was also one of the strongest people Ava knew, both figuratively and physically.

_ Oh my god, do I have a crush on Sara? _ Before Ava could full-on panic at the revelation, Sara took her hand and dragged her away from the creepy guy, and her brain stopped working again.

Sara gently took her into a different compartment, which had less people than the one they had been in, and she sat next to Ava, her demeanor morphing from angry to concerned.

“How are you?” The apprehension in Sara's voice was what shook Ava, making her brain work again.

“I'm... fine. Thank you, I didn't know what to do. I just froze... I usually react to these kind of situations better,” Ava confessed, feeling less shaken when she realized that Sara was still tenderly holding her hand, her thumb moving in circles to be reassuring.

“Usually? Does this thing happen often?” Sara was surprised.

“Well, not every day. In the two years I've been commuting to university I think it happened another couple of times, but since I rarely take the train alone because of you guys it's been a while.”

That seemed to make Sara angrier, somehow. The girl must have seen something in Ava's eyes, because she soon apologized.

“Sorry, I just don't know how to deal with this kind of thing rationally. I get so angry whenever something like this happens... Why can't men leave women alone when we clearly want to be left alone?” She sighed, closing her eyes. When she opened them again there was a mischievous twinkle in her gaze, a look that Ava had become familiar with and that, if she was honest with herself, looked great on Sara.

“Have I ever told you that I got a probation in high school because I punched a guy who had catcalled me in the hallway?”

It wasn't funny, yet the way Sara said it made Ava laugh a little. Seeing her reaction, Sara lit up, and she started talking about all the creeps she had punched in her life, successfully distracting Ava from what had happened to her.

When they arrived at the last stop and they got up, Sara got closer to Ava than she usually did.

“I'm sorry I went with the girlfriend route to get away from that guy. He did mention he was getting off at the last stop too, so I think it would be better to act like we're a couple while we are close to the station. You never know.”

Was... Was Sara Lance blushing? Ava didn't have much time to think about it, because they were quickly getting out of the compartment.

“Yeah, sure.”

As soon as those words left Ava's lips she felt Sara's hand on her shoulder.

“Do you mind if I keep you close?” she whispered.

“No problem,” was all Ava could say, and Sara's arm slithered soon around her shoulders, protective and reassuring.

They walked like that, side by side, until they reached the library, and they arrived there sooner than Ava had realized, because they had kept talking and laughing all the time.

Ava had to admit that she had a lot of things to figure out, first and foremost whether she was really attracted to her friend or not, and what did that mean for their friendship, but for the time being she was just glad Sara Lance was by her side.


End file.
